How Not To Behave In A Bar

And a few things not to say to the barman if you don’t want to wear your drink!

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Eating out in Chiswick


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Since restaurateurs were given an opportunity to vent their frustrations with difficult diners, we thought it only fair to give an equal opportunity to our local bartenders.

Surprisingly, they were less forthcoming with their criticisms of customers’ behaviour but we still managed to get a good few that’ll make you wonder why there aren’t more people in bars wearing their drinks rather than consuming them!

1. One of the most annoying things a customer can do, is ordering drinks individually for a large group. Instead of finding out what everyone wants before they come to the bar, they order one drink, you make it, and then they ask what the next person wants and so on. You end up taking 20 minutes to make all the drinks instead of the 5mins if they had come to the bar and ordered say, 3 gin and tonics, two mojitos, 3 pints etc. Oh, and then they complain that you took too long to make the drinks!

2. A small thing, maybe, bit nonetheless really annoying…. Putting ice in the ashtray. If you don’t want ice in your drink, tell me, and you won’t get it. Everyone knows that ice is automatically put in a drink. Don’t whinge that you don’t want it when you didn’t say so and you have just watched me make your drink!

3. Chewing gum in ashtrays. Don’t do it…..its disgusting!

4. The worst thing a customer can do in a bar; no question is clicking their fingers to attract the attention of staff. My God! How can people be so ignorant and rude?

5. Never ask me “What should I have?” First of all, I don’t know what you should have. I don’t know what you like, what you’re “allergic” to or even your name. What should you have? What do you like? What do you usually drink? What do you feel like trying tonight? And, whatever you do, never, ever say….

6. “Surprise me!” The bar is full, then someone comes in and asks me - whilst I’m emptying the dishwasher with my one free hand - to surprise them! Don't tempt me!

7. “Make it strong” There’s nothing worse than someone looking for a free drink and asking for a strong drink, stronger than we would usually them is in my book asking for free alcohol. If you want a strong drink ask for a double and pay for it. Finally please, whatever else you do in my bar, don’t ask…

8. “Want to hear a joke?” I don’t. First off, I’ve heard them all. They’re all racist, sexist, homophobic, or just plain stupid. The funny thing about that is, the people that ask that question really don’t care what the answer is. I’ve tried telling people that no, I don’t want to hear a joke. They just tell it anyway.

July 7, 2008