Chiswick Business Park Bans Toy Boats On Lake

Nine year old seeks alternate sailing site after being told his battleship frightens the fish

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Ensuring the fish remain calm and free from anxieties appears to be high on the list of priorities of Chiswick Business Park's security team after a boy was banned from sailing his toy boat on the lake because "it frightens the fish".

Nine year old Noah's grandfather Paul told, "On several weekends over this summer I have walked with my grandson Noah to the out of the way on the upper pond in Chiswick Business park to enjoy sailing his to toy battleship Bismarck. These interludes have drawn smiles and curiosity from onlookers both adult and children, even the ducks have showed interest. That is until last Sunday."

He continued, "We were sat on the grass happily sailing the boats when a security man armed with a walkie-talkie approached and asked what we were doing."

Paul and Noah were informed that the business park had rules, albeit un-displayed or which they could be made party to, and they had to be enforced and that included toy boats and dogs paddling; they have a lot of trouble with paddling dogs apparently.

"I quizzed him as to what was the reason for this embargo on toy boats and he replied that ‘it frightens the fish’; Never mind the heron that has cleaned up all the tiddlers and has designs on the larger carp as soon as he gets a bit bigger then!"

"I wanted to find out who was in charge and who might be contactable about this contradiction in policy from and organisation which presents itself as wanting the locals to enjoy the place as well as the paying tenants. We followed him to his reception security bastion where he call the central control room and conveyed my requests to the operative who had tasked him with ruining a small boy’s afternoon in pursuit of a simple and harmless pleasure. Alas this Mr Big, via his colleague, refused to give us his name or a person in the management who could be contacted or any phone numbers apart from that of the reception; he claimed this was owing to security considerations.

"As we trudged dejectedly home with Noah clutching his battleship he burst into tears, he thought this was the end of what has became the highlight of his weekends and he would never sail his toy ship again. I suppose Enjoy Work will claim Health and Safety and if so since when was there any risk in sitting on the grass by a pond?"

He concluded, "Noah will still sail his battleship Bismarck but we will have to go in the car which could be viewed as a case of Enjoy Work causing carbon emissions which their web site so smugly trumpets they are about saving."

September 7, 2009