Alan, The Nicest Milkman in the West, Signs Off With a Song

Retiring after forty years of delivering to the local community

Alan Perkins retiring after 40 years
Alan Perkins retiring after 40 years

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Alan Perkins, the milkman who has served the Chiswick area for over 40 years, has recorded a song to mark his retirement.

Alan’s musical talent was not previously unknown in Chiswick as he was a regular performer on drums for the Bats of Ealing at the Bedford Park Festival.

He is assisted in the 'Milkman's Swansong' by Chrissie Perkins who has performed in the West End when people used to do such things.

Although he bids a fond farewell to his customers in the song, he has a parting shot of the dairy company who he says ‘wants efficiency but disregards community.’

He also complains about a loss of identity saying he had been rebranded as a delivery driver rather than a milkman.

Here are the lyrics of the song:

"I'm in mourning this morning, cos it's dawning on me
This is now the end of my Milk delivery
My milkfloat is complaining, although I keep explaining
The dairies don't want milkmen anymore
With new employment policy
Delivery drivers we must be
They've stolen my identity

So now i'm singing the milkman swansong
Singing the milkman swansong
Singing the milkman swansong
Singing before i'm gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

The milkman's job has changed, and there's nothing to be gained
from trying to fight against the system
Everything must be online, delivered in the night-time
I never see my customers, I miss them
The dairy wants efficiency
But disregards community
Just cogs in their machinery

So now i'm singing.........
I might not get another message in a bottle

I've done my round for forty years, the chink of bottles in my ears
And customers in many ways are friends
But now it's time to draw the line, make my deliveries one last time
And bid farewell, for now the story ends

But you, dear milkfloat, you must carry on!

So now i'm singing........

'So tell me, how much is it, a pint of milk in Chiswick?'
A lovely lady once said to me.
'Well, i'm glad you asked, cos when it comes in glass
It only costs you 27p ( but that was in 1983!)'

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December 20, 2020

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